I was sooo tired to check my Npal this morning. Received the results over sms and just continued sleeping. Well, here it is.

Creativity and Applied Thinking Skills: B
Inorganic and Physical Chemistry: B
Mathematics and Statistics 1: A
Microbiology: C
Physiological Systems: C
Sports and Wellness: PX
GPA: 2.913

Quite satisfied overall. Though wished my GPA could have been a little higher..

It's just my luck to fail the Basic Theory Evaluation just by 2 questions. So frustrating. Let's hope I can do better next round. Wanna get my Basic Theory Test over and done with then I can proceed.

Results would be out in a few hours. Sigh. Am so nervous now..

Today I went to the airport to have Popeye's chicken for dinner. It was great. But the few people there were horrible. Haz and I were practically bitching at everyone whom we found an eyesore. Dinner was great. Lovely.

What I enjoyed most at the airport was plane gazing. It really brings back a lot of childhood memories. The times where my parents would drive me and my sister all the way to the airport just to have Swensen's ice cream. Every trip to the aiport, be it to send/receive someone or just for an evening stroll, Swensen's ice cream is a must to end off the airport trip. The airport also reminded me of my first europe trip in 1998, and my first overseas exchange programme in 2003. Great times, great memories. Most importantly, plane gazing just gives me a feeling of calmness, peace and serenity. Totally enjoyable. I just enjoy seeing planes take off and land, the view from the viewing gallery.. Just feel so carefree.

Oh.. Did I mention I love to see the change of the flight schedule panel in the departure hall? Fascinating mechanisms. Love the way the panels just flip and drop, changing into a whole new set of flight schedule.. Don't ask me why I enjoy i watching it. I just do. =]

I just happened to stumble upon certain things. It's lies. What you told me the night before, 2 nights ago, every night, are all just lies.

I'm just living in a world of delusion and deception. Just want to break free from this world.

Today, I felt my feelings going like a roller coaster. One moment, I can be happy. And I can be sad and down just suddenly. No idea why. Guess it's that time of the month. -sniggers-

Caught Big Momma's House 2 today. Wasn't too bad. Loads of funny parts. I feel I'm becoming a tube freak. Plenty of shows on Monday night! There was the The Shining Star on channel 8 @ 9, Desperate Housewives @ 10, Grey's Anatomy @ 11, Scrubs @ 12, Fraiser @ 12.30. And now, the tv is switched on again @ 2 for Friends. But it's gonna be a pity. Gonna be missing my Desperate Housewives next monday, every monday, onwards.

There's something very wrong with me tonight. I keep having spasms in my right thumb and I keep smelling full of RL Polo Blue. =S

Totally didn't have enough sleep last night. Feeling rather grumpy today. Or is the mood swing back again? =/

I thought I could let go. But still, I find myself still quite unable to do so. Maybe things are still hanging, as what I just realised.

This morning I overslept. Wanted to wake up earlier. But was just too tired to do so. Went for band, then went out and chilled.

Finally, I got to know what's going on. Able to understand the situation and make the decisions willingly. Feeling really light and better now. =]

Today I finally got out of the house. First time this week. Stood on the train all the way from Choa Chu Kang to Pasir Ris. There just wasn't a seat for me. How unlucky. Got to my friend's place. And instead of me listening to him pour out his woes, I was the one pouring out my woes. But.. I still felt the same. Thought I am slowly starting to go with what my major sense of feeling is. Trying to put things behind me. Slowly, but surely. Unless, by a miracle, I've really been thinking too much all these while and things won't really go the way my vivid imagination depicts.

Alas! Tomorrow there's band practice. And if there's no news whatsoever, I'm going out to chill. I think I seriously need that.

All those promises made were empty.

Finally, something I was waiting for happened. But nonetheless, a big part of me is still rather doubtful about the whole situation. Yet the other part of me feels that there is hope somewhere. I really don't know. I really hope I'm not being lied to. As Leen said:" Believe in Karma. What goes around, comes around." So.. if I'm really lied to, then I guess the other party(-ies) would get back a taste of their own medicine in time to come.

Anyway, today was yet another really another boring day. There's really nothing to do. But luckily, at night, there's always shows to entertain me. Like tonight, there was the Amazing Race. One of the obstacles today was that they had to abseil down a building. And one of the contestants said this when she was going down: "I'm so fat, I'm just sliding down on my own..." It was like damn corny la..

Oh well.. Tomorrow at least I'll be finally out of the house. For a good cause. The thought of what goes through my mind each day will just drive me to insanity.

I just did a personality test. I find that some parts of it is quite true. Here's the link if you're interested to find out about yourself. http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=12721960859055255705

the Questioner

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.


How to Get Along with Me

-Be direct and clear.
-Listen to me carefully.
-Don't judge me for my anxiety.
-Work things through with me.
-Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
-Laugh and make jokes with me.
-Gently push me toward new experiences.
-Try not to overreact to my overreacting.


What I Like About Being a Six

-being committed and faithful to family and friends
-being responsible and hardworking
-being compassionate toward others
-having intellect and wit
-being a nonconformist
-confronting danger bravely
-being direct and assertive


What's Hard About Being a Six

-the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
-procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
-fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
-exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
-wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
-being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations


Sixes as Children often

-are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
-are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
-form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
-look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
-are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent


Sixes as Parents

-are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
-are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
-worry more than most that their children will get hurt
-sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

Woke up this morning, feeling much better than before. Though can't help but still think about various things. Well, have to try and put it all behind. As usual, the day was boring. Just can't wait for next week. At least band will resume. Something to look foward to.

I just caught America's Next Top Model on tv. Oh man. The show's getting great. It's getting more exciting. I wonder who the winner will be. Watched A Simple Life III after that. I must say, Paris and Nicola are totally.... BIMBOS! Yeah. You got me right. Bimbo. It's like. URGH! Can't stand the way they behaved. If my fingers could get into the screen, I swear I'll be the first to strangle them. Haha.

So many things I've heard happened within a few hours. Different things at different times. Dark secrets unravelled. Feeling of betrayal sets in. At the point where I don't know if they are truths or untruths. Major confusion sets in. Feelings went askew. And I ask myself, "why". I wonder. What's my next move, I can't tell. I don't know what step to take. To be honest, I'd rather be hurt then to be betrayed. The feeling of being hurt is much better, anytime, then to feel betrayed. Just hope that after a (good?) night's sleep, I'll just be feeling like the way I felt this morning. It's much better than way.

Tomorrow will be a better day. It must be one.

I'm feeling downright sad and miserable. Friends keep telling me to think positively and such. But I just can't. Some evidence just point in the opposite directions though others contradict another. It's just killing me silently. Wish I could just break away from this world and everything would be fine.

And Desperate Housewives is not being shown again. Was sooo looking forward for it. But some dumb Grammy Award show is being broadcast. So much for the thought that would make me happy for the night.

I hope tomorrow would be a better day...

Good riddance to those nasty exams. They are gone. At least for now. Hello to the good old holidays!